is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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