pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
