I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
