My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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