i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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