Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so that wasnt chicken after all
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
