My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
