Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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