school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
