are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
