Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
