Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
