omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize