Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
