I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
