Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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