It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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