hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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