Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
