If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
