they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
