One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
