dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
