they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize