Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
