singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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