i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
