i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
