apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
we're so committed to being not committed
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
