I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
