This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
