Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
