update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I want her autograph on my taint
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
