My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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