You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
