Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
