Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
