PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
