I've blown a few things in my day
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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