so let's talk penis.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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