You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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