my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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