hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
