You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
