brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
