It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
