my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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