I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
