Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
