Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
