i was born a porn star she said
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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