Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
