did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
