entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
