That's when you crack a 10am beer
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize