cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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