Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
