is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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