oh god the rape fog is back!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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